The 10 Categories of Wargamer

As the Boys Weekend approaches, it is time to leave behind the icey winds of the climate change debate, and to post about important stuff: wargamers. It is a well established fact that wargamers share one or more of 10 basic characteristics, and it is possible to categorize wargamers using these characteristics. Let's look at them.

First, category N. The normal wargamer. All wargamers are normal.

Second, category A. The anonymous wargamer. Interestingly, the below photograph came up in google images with the search terms "super", "nerd" and "wargamer".

Third, category CA. The computer addict wargamer. There is always at least one wargamer who can't tear himself away from the laptop.

Fourth, category C. The calculating wargamer. These wargamers will never turn up without their trusty calculator, and will delay turns by calculating every permutation of their moves and battle odds.

Fifth, category W. The waiting wargamer. Has any wargamer not experienced the long wait (arms crossed in frustration) between turns while everyone else takes their time and peers endlessly at the map.

Sixth, category S. The sleeping wargamer. Sometimes the wait is just too long. But if you have a cool Alexander the Great t-shirt you can sleep whenever you want to.

Seventh, category M. The macho wargamer. No sleeves for anyone. Very macho.

Eighth, category V. The celebratory (V for victory) wargamer. Just can't resist shouting "Yes" and punching the air every time there is a good dice roll.

Ninth, category R. The check the rules wargamer. Who hasn't been here.

Tenth, category D. The drinking wargamer. Goes without saying really.

Back in the 1980s there existed an eleventh category, FW, which covered wargamers who randomly played the guitar while other players were having their turn. Thankfully this activity has now been outlawed. (Sorry, couldn't resist!)

So, where do the master editors of this great website belong? In my humble opinion:

Comments

[PythonMagus]

B = Blogging wargammer (or SM = Social Media). This is a wargamer who is not satisfied with a simple victory punch, but instead must let the world know of the minutiae of their clever strategy. Typical are screen shots/photos of the game in different stages, and abstract discussions of the superiority of their plans.

[Paul]

I can't replicate my search for the photo in category A. I do note that a search of google images with "weirdo" and "wargame" produce 5 prestags.com images in the top 25 (!)

[Paul]

I was thinking category B for bored wargamer, but I can't reconcile this with SM. Perhaps brave wargamer (aka sado-masochistic)who plays wargames at the risk of severe reprimands and punishments from the better half.

[PythonMagus]

I just tried a search for "super nerd wargamer" and did not get the aforementioned image. I did get the Prestags post about Battle of the Five Armies (Tolkien) about 100 in. We are not blogging hard enough.

Interestingly, "IPCC wargame" did get us twice in the top 20, with the Battle of Lepanto and me bike riding around Lake Burley Griffin, with another 8 in the top fifty, none about the very real threat of Climate Change. I have to ponder the meaning of this, but it suggests that both Paul and I have failed to make a strong impression on Google. Then again, it is science that matters, not opinion.

[PythonMagus]

I believe I need to bring my guitar (with a Bob Dylan song book) and some of Jordan's sleeveless shirts to complete the set.

I suggest there should be one more category: B, or perhaps SM. Anyone want to guess what that category is?